the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
