oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
