who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
