Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
