I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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