How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
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The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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