ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
