ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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