i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
