I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize