i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
