And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
