i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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