someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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