The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
