the day after is always just damage control
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
