Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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