I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
