Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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