There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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