haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
