I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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