ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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