so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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