she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
