Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
wow bdsm is so cute
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