I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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