I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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