i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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