its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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