You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
