Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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