So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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