Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
