i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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