Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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