I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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