That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
