Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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