wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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