ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
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Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
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driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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