My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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