Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
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Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
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I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong