Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?

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(760): View more from California

i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have

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(818): View more from California

I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(530): View more from California

As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.

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(443): View more from Maryland

i would one night stand the shit outta him

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(425): View more from Washington

If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.

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(518): View more from New York

I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.

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