i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
