It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
