"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
