i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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