I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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