my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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