next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
