i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
