Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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