What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
