I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
