Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
