I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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