??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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