Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
someone owes me an orgasm
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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